The Drone Revolution is Here. Are You Ready?

With innovation and reasonable prices, drones are hot in 2019. Amidst fears and other concerns, they are here to stay. Even the Police are getting into the drone game. This will be restated: Keep your pants up in public, for God sakes people!

Drones know when you are sleeping, and they know when you’re awake. They know when you are sunbathing half-naked and when you’ve been bad or good; so be bad good for goodness sake.

Drones aren’t Santa Clause. They’re real—but they are starting to seem a lot like the fat bearded mythical man.

However, they are occasionally used to spy on a half-naked woman sunbathing. Yea, and then their footage is shared online for random wankers across the world to “view.” Admittedly doesn’t sound like a PG family-friendly movie, but let’s be honest. With the advent of the internet, innocence is disappearing about the age of 11. Regardless, with drones, the eyes are in the sky and on the ground below: The question is, who are those eyes?

Drone paranoia is real. Most people have probably heard or seen drones above them and wondered if it was an Alien ship buzzing about the lower regions of the atmosphere. Even if they are prone to not believing in the extraterrestrial, they may just be concerned someone’s spying on them; but who could it be? Most of the time, we’ll never know.

But not to worry: The police are in the sky too, scanning for evil deeds all across the land. Make sure your pants are fully zipped up, and you’re not going commando, or you may find yourself with a public indecency charge. Police drones even have thermal cameras and can catch people taking a piss in the back alley at 3 a.m. Don’t act like you’re not guilty…

I don’t want to scare you—that’s what your nightmares and in-laws are for, but to be fair, Police drones may save your life. If you decide to take the road less traveled and wander off the beaten path, like an exploring nomad in the woods, then a drone may be the best chance for rescue. With thermal cameras, drones can cover massive sections of land area within a short amount of time—like barefoot runners in Kenya can.

But there’s more! The police are going full out. Through crowd monitoring, surveillance, crime scene analysis, and traffic collision reconstruction, you can bet that the Popo is going to catch you and have evidence to prove it if you do something illegal. As of December 2018, the NYPD is propping up a fleet of their drones in the Big Apple. Evolution and progress. The lesson? Be good boys and girls, eat your oatmeal and keep your pants up in public! I’m warning you!

Although the NYPD states that it won’t use the drones for warrantless searches (a.k.a. spying), it’s still slightly discomforting.

Let’s 180 and get back to the half-naked women.

Apparently, in Australia, many women are making reports that drones are spying on them in their homes. Now, why would anyone… The women who’ve made the reports live in anxiety and fear, one stating that she sleeps with a baseball bat nearby. Another woman stated that she’s seen drones peering through her window and no longer takes her nightly showers. Thank drones for bad B.O.

Golly Gee. Can’t these peeping Tom’s use their Wifi instead? The lengths that people go to be weird is always unsettling.

One problem of this invasion of privacy (despite the fact of its illegality) is that these women might find themselves online while merely being in the privacy of their homes. How would you feel about someone filming you while you were in your house doing God knows what? There are not many images on the Clearnet, but they probably live in the Dark Web for people to share. For the photos that can be found on Google, these private (usually unclothed) moments are unsettling to see.

And even kids are being spied on. Gone are the days when you can enjoy a day at the pool without a 30-year-old neighbor flying his drone around for a peek of the action: Which involves kids in their swimming pool. There’s always a new low for humanity daily.

According to a report from the Lee County Sherriff’s Office in Fort Myers, Fla. Marcus Summ, 30, was piloting his drone by following the neighborhood kids around wherever they went. He has not been arrested even though it’s illegal to record images of someones private property without having consent; weirdo alert. Keep your eyes peeled!

New Chapter

That’s enough for the weird and dark side of the drones: Let’s take a turn towards the super cool. Here’s a list of a few interesting things:

• Think about placing an order for (eh, I don’t know) a full-body Gorilla costume from Amazon or a pair of flippers for swimming. In about 4-5 years, according to very bald billionaire Jeff Bezos, a drone will deliver that to your doorstep in an hour or less. Impulse buying will become even more trendy. So will Gorilla costumes. You just have to trust me on this.

• Although there are skeptics, you could be having a pizza delivered by drones in many years. Saves on tipping the delivery driver!

• If you like drones,there are lots of cool T-shirts available. Game of Drones anyone?

• While you can’t film private residences, you’re generally free to spy on people in public. Just don’t crash it into anyone or you’ll land yourself in the steel cage. Alcatraz.

• Selfies—but withdrones are officially called Dronies—Making fat and ugly peopleattractive with the right angle all the same.

• If you haven’tseen the Hawk vs. Drone! The video, it’s 39 seconds of pure man v.machine glory.

Consumer Drones

Besides the visibly strange, fresh, and innovative stuff people are doing with drones, they are becoming quite affordable. With features like HD 120 fps, increased flying time, 360 panorama modes, slo-mo, and gravity sensors—they can be yours from 60 to 300 dollars. That’s like the price of ordering pizza every weekend for a couple of months, or a night out at the Gentleman’s club. There are some great budget drones for kids too, which is like buying Tombstone frozen pizzas for a couple of months.

If you get your kid a drone, make sure you practice your self-defense techniques, because they may want to fly it into your head—or the family dog. And it’s a good thing that dogs can’t fly because if they did, your drone would probably get mangled. Dogs like to chase frisbees or anything that flies in the air, as you know, so they will love to take your drone out of the sky.

Now turning to a few fun legal facts to maintain your freedom. Follow these tips to not land up in prison:

How You Can Get Arrested-Don’t Do These Things!

• Don’t fly your drone too close to airplanes or helicopters

• Don’t shoot drones down with a firearm

• Don’t collide your drone with people or buildings

• Don’t use your drones to deliver drugs or contraband

• Done stalk people, women, or neighbors with your drone.

Drones are cool. Depending on the operator they can be dangerous. Always have fun,read the instructions, and don’t spy on people in their homes. Or else.

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