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8 Things Owning a Drone Tells US About You

Here is a list of different types of drones and what owning each one says about you.


Go Pro compatible drone:


You are a thrill seeker. You already had a Go Pro, and putting on your head just wasn’t enough. You tried parkour that one time and after your third trip to the ER, your mom suggested you try something else. So far the most impressive things you’ve managed to shoot was that time a pigeon landed right on your camera. Keep trying, bud.


A Follow Me drone:


You have a skateboard and a struggling Youtube channel just begging for sick content. Set that baby to tracking mode and you’ve got some killer footage to put to Imagine Dragons. A full twenty minutes of you absolutely shredding the pavement and those likes will start pouring in. Just watch. Your ex will for sure leave her new boyfriend and beg you to come back.


A selfie drone:


A drone made specifically for taking pictures of yourself? Definitely the type of thing a nerd-chic hipster needs. Selfie sticks? Those are so out of touch. Selfie drones? Perfect for getting that sweet shot of your squad while also ensuring that everyone around you knows how obnoxious you are.


Racing drones:


You needed an expensive hobby to get you out of the house. You’re into speed but you’re too poor for a car and not fit enough to run. You play video games, but only racing games. Sonic the Hedgehog is your spirit animal.


Refurbished drones:


You are a high school science teacher. The school does not want the liability of 15-year-olds having expensive brand new equipment. Your drones are primarily used to film track meets. The footage from one drone flight was used to figure out who keeps leaving drawings behind the boy’s bathrooms.


Homemade drones:


How did you…? You better not let the FAA find out you’re making flying Frankenstein robots.


Mini drones:


You probably got this from your cool uncle for your 10th birthday. It fits in your hand and you even got it to do a flip that one time. It doesn’t have a super long battery life, but neither does your attention span, so it works out perfectly.


Ag drones:


You’re a farmer, but like, a cool farmer. You grow mostly locally sourced hormone free kale, so all you’re really spraying is water and good vibes. The drone is a tool, but it sleeps in your guest bedroom at night because hey, it works hard too.


So there you have it: a guide to what your type of drone says about you. You can disagree, but these are just the cold hard facts. I don’t make the rules, I just write about them. Happy flying!

I know they often get a bad rap, because of what we see being used in the military. I’ve heard it said that drones take the human element out of warfare and allow us to kill without conscience. Yikes, right? Anyone with even a little exposure to commercially available drones knows that now any Joe Schmo can get one from Best Buy and use it primarily for aerial shots of their own driveway.

Since becoming commercially available, drones have exploded in popularity, and now there are all kinds of options for someone wanting an unmanned tiny aircraft. Drones have even been used for some really unique purposes, like wildlife conservation and as a first responder in medical emergencies. So next time your tin-foil hat-wearing grandpa says drones are just here to steal our privacy, you can casually mention that they are regularly used in filmmaking.

Then he will start talking about how all the movies these days are trash and you won’t have to talk to him about drones anymore.

Oh, and by the way, the wildlife conservation drones are used to simulate circling birds of prey around dead carcasses. Basically, the endangered California Condor thinks the drones are other birds getting some sweet grub, so they follow and have been led back to their natural habitat. That makes drones funky little bird robots and I’m into that.

I think my personal favorite type of drone has to be the elusive package-delivering drones. The idea that I could order a panda bear shaped mug on Amazon and have it delivered to my house by the time the kettle heats up appeals to all my laziness.  Seriously how cool would it be to track the drone progress via app on your phone? You could even cheer it on or have a big banner waiting on your doorstep when it arrives. “Welcome home, panda-shaped mug!” It will be like a soldier’s homecoming, only with more tea and significantly less heroism.

            I do fully understand the logistical issues behind delivery drones – people can steal the package, wind speeds can reduce the efficiency of the machine, birds of prey can literally mutilate them while airborne (hawks do love their coffee mugs after all), or batteries can run out making it impossible for them to complete their flights. Frankly, I have more than one relative who would eat an old boot for a chance to shoot down a drone that flew onto their property. All I’m saying is that I want to be able to sit back in my house and let my groceries come to me. I would never have to put pants on again, and I can imagine no greater gift to myself than that.


Anyway, the more popular a hobby is, the more likely it is to attract all kinds of different people, and drone ownership is no exception.  That does not, however, mean that all drone owners are alike. On the contrary, each different type of drone says something unique about its owner. Just like how if you own an SUV, you probably have a lot of kids and don’t care much for the environment while if you own a Prius, you are wrong.

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